She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize