nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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