I love black thongs
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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