She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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