I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
