Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
