I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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