Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
