Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.