I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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