i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...