Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad