She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall