No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.