just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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