you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you had me at cake vodka
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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