Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
