I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
