you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
