wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
