He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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