just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
