I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Soap is not a condiment
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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