it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
