I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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