I must be too annoying 4 u.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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