I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
