U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
