i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
