but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
