I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just had sex on a roof
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
