I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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