at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
