I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
