yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
