so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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