I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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