I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
