How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
