Cold hands, warm shart.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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