One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
