its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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