come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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