i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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