In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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