before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.