yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Alive.
So much puke
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
A+ Viking dick
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
