think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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