I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i think my cat just said my name.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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