therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
