there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
