Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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