i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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