My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
