btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
