two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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