It's like God shit irony all over that family
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
