i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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