This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
