got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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