the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
