there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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