I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
