The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
