I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
