rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
